Chicago
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Salesforce Tower Opens on Wolf Point Just in Time to Get Die-Harded for Christmas
“They shot Jeff, which sucks, but he talked shit to the German guy and that’s the easiest way to get shot during a Die-hard.”
Foxtrot and Dom’s Merge, but Aren’t Renaming to “Domfox”, Furry Chicagoans Outraged
The Chicago furry community however, is left wanting more, as they so often are, upon realizing that the new consolidation won’t be dubbed ‘DomFox.”
Millennium Park Construction Explained: The Bean to Be Replaced With Pickleball Courts
Cloud Gate — affectionately known as “The Bean” to locals — was opened to the public in 2006, and immediately became a must for people looking for free things to do on dates that aren’t going very well.
Woman Crosses Her Arms When Delayed Train Finally Arrives To Show She’s Disappointed
IRVING PARK – This past Thursday, longtime Chicago resident Cassidy Madison, 38, was seen standing at the Brown Line platform, shaking her head with disgust and pointedly pointing at her imaginary
Kroger Leaves Mariano’s in Cardboard Box Labeled “Free to a Good Home”
“As attached as we’ve become to Mariano’s, someone out there is going to be his forever-home.”
Navy Pier Margaritaville Cut Adrift, Set Aflame in Viking Burial for Jimmy Buffett
Margaritavilles around the country were instructed to set them aflame in order to have his property follow him into Valhalla.
CTA Announces They've Smashed Their Goal of Running One Train and Bus a Day
After years of long wait times and skipped schedules, they’ve announced it’s once again hitting goals for service.
Study Suggests Traffic on the 606 Could Be 100% Dog by 2030
"There’s always been a lot of dog walkers, but we were disturbed to see a nearly 400% annual rise in dogs on the trail."
Stupid Dumb Idiot Pulls Bus Cord After Someone Already Did
Other passengers corroborated Bolland's story, saying they too had seen a stupid dumb idiot reaching for the cord, even though “Stop Requested” was visible on the bus’s display.
Fifth Third Bank Finally Reduces Name to 1.666666667 Bank
“We could’ve kept the sixes going honestly,” said Herman Ridgeman, 54, regional manager at the downtown Clark Street location. “But we didn’t want to show off. Also, we couldn't figure out the keyboard shortcut to type the 6 with that line at the top.”
