Chicago
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Chicago Horny for Summer
Chicagoans are fuckin’ horned up for Summer. Just absolutely rubbin’ on the carpet, red-faced, rippin’ at their clothes, screaming ‘OOOOW-OOOOOGA!!’
Flattened Rat Corpse Potent Metaphor
People described experiences ranging from a strong desire to call their parents and tell them they’re sorry to finally telling that obnoxious co-worker that you won’t be attending their one-man show because life is too short to support bad art.
Summer Reading Gone Too Far: Chicago’s Rat Population Has Read “Nimh,” and They’re Pissed
What was supposed to be a fun way to keep kids’ minds engaged over the summer has become some kind of rage-fueled class warfare for these guys.
New Rat Exhibit at Field Museum Definitely Not Rebranded Rat Infestation
The new, permanent exhibit, which takes place on every floor and in every gallery of the historic museum, highlights the evolution of modern rat as well as giving visitors a chance to see numerous live rats.
Friend with SLEEP Tee Somehow Most Levelheaded About Marijuana Legalization
“Look, I’m not saying taking taking a heavy rip doesn’t make a heavy riff rule, but we also should consider how the sudden legalization of a controlled substance is going to fall prey to moneyed interests who are going to move quickly to capitalize on what will undoubtedly be a massive market for Illinois."
Safest Path Into Journalism Being Elected Mayor Of Chicago
Journalism programs across the country have begun advising students to become Chicago’s mayor first if they’re serious about making a career in a newsroom.
Man Reading Book On 'L' Twisted Little Pervert Desperate For Attention
"When he found where he’d left off the last time, he made this horrible little smile that just made my blood run cold."
Ricketts Family Unveils Plans for “Poors Only” Bleachers At Wrigley Field; Cubs Fans Rejoice
Todd Ricketts clutched a sack with a large dollar sign printed on the outside as he reassured the entirely unconcerned crowd that “binocular rentals will be available for these peons.
"Yes, And?” CTA Says “No” as Shameless Improvisors Perform for New HD Surveillance Cameras
It was supposed to be a boon to security across the city. After eleven months, the CTA finally finished installing high-definition cameras in subway stations all along the Red and Blue Lines.
No One Has Heart To Tell Doughy Out-Of-Towners That Photo Of Marina Towers Going To Look Like Complete Shit
The Runcibles, who hail from Milwaukee, were reportedly seen on the State St. Bridge around 4 p.m. on May 3rd, trying their absolute hardest to get a good angle on the Marina Towers and by all indicated reports making a real hash of it.
