Aaron Waters' Birthday Once Again Completely Upstaged

RIVER NORTH — Another anniversary of Aaron Waters' birth has come and gone, without fanfare or acknowledgement from his so-called friends. “I didn’t think that my birthday being August 15th would be a huge deal,” Waters bemoaned to our investigative team, sadly cutting up ice cream cake to fit into tupperware containers. “I guess my friends just love high speed fighter jets more than they love their old pal Aaron.”

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