LINCOLN SQUARE — With the stretch of Lincoln Ave between Lawrence and Leland closed to car traffic during construction, a lively debate between residents of the neighborhood has started around whether or not the area around Giddings Plaza should remain pedestrian. The two factions that have emerged, pro-car and anti-car, gathered in Giddings Plaza for an old-school rumble. Improvised weapons allowed, but no guns.
“These sidewalk-lovers gotta pay,” said Neil Lopez, an owner of a Ford F150 he immediately said he was more proud of than his son Daniel, who was standing next to him. Lopez and others from the pro-car group arrived at the rumble slightly late after struggling to park in the surrounding neighborhood, but came armed with tire irons, windshield scrapers, and other shit that was tossed in their backseat.
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“Suck a tailpipe, gas-guzzler!” called out Samantha Quilt, who told us the car-free week on Lincoln Ave was the closest she’s felt to her community in years before throwing a bottle at the opposition. The anti-car faction had formed a shield wall in the Plaza out of rolling carts and strollers, and said any “car freaks” who made it through would be beaten with canvas tote bags filled with soap bars from Merz Apothecary.
While both sides remain passionate, residents and businesses along the corridor paint a more balanced picture of the pluses and minuses of a car-free Square. Businesses report both increases and decreases in customers, restaurants report struggles with deliveries but more diners staying longer, and residents report they like communal activities like chalk art, but wish the children of Lincoln Square weren’t such untalented artists.
Ald. Matt Martin and the Lincoln Square Chamber of Commerce have encouraged civil discussion about this matter, and have yet to pick a side despite repeatedly being screamed at to do so. Ald. Martin reached out yesterday to appeal to civility.
“I just wish people would fill out the online survey instead of engaging in ‘Sharks vs. Jet’ style violence,” said Ald. Martin. “Car people, stop putting your car keys between your fingers like Wolverine’s claws and punching your neighbors! Anti-car people, stop pointing out studies that show pedestrian areas lead to long term growth for businesses! It really upsets the car people!”
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The online survey will remain open till construction is complete, and residents on both sides are encouraged to submit ideas there instead of the recently formed fight-pit behind Vaca’s Vegan Creamery.
