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Wait Wait...Don't Carry Me! WBEZ To End Controversial "Peter Sagal's Palanquin Bearer" Internship

However, proponents of the internship insist that many palanquin-bearers go on to do great things—Robert Krulwich’s current cupbearer is a former intern, and innumerable others staff the Gimlet Media ancestral open-concept loft office as scullery maids, rampart guards and more.

Shuttered Garrett’s Popcorn Location Declared Superfund Site

EPA officials were seen exiting the site in HAZMAT suits covered in CaramelCrisp drizzle and were overheard saying “at least now we don’t have to wait in line for this garbage.”

“The Warmth was in You The Whole Time,” Tearful Heat Lamps Bid Farewell to Chicagoans Till Next Year

After a Winter of bringing a slight change to the frigid temperatures on platforms, Chicago’s CTA heat lamps bid a tearful farewell to the populace as they were turned off till next Winter, saying

Six Chicago Landmarks to Pretend You’ve Seen This Spring

Located in sprawling Humboldt Park, the Magic Bush has been imbued with arcane power ever since the Chicago Fire.

Report Shows Asian Carp Completely Ignoring “No Asian Carp” Signs Along Illinois River

“They probably can’t read the signs” said local dullard Tim Jeffries. “I can’t believe I’m the only one saying this.”

Cool 'L' Drivers Exchange High Fives While Passing, Lose Arms

“There was just like a real crisp fiver, then a wet snapping sound, and then like, all these screams."

Box of Bones Found in Family’s Attic Hopefully Not Toys for Deranged, Escaped Twin

Carol and Brett Banderford denied allegations they’d locked an evil version of their son in the attic of their three bedroom/two bathroom house'