ROSCOE VILLAGE— The time is 7:07 PM. Zoya Munir, 25, gazes out the door of Le Sud awaiting her now boyfriend Karan Singh, 27. For the couple, tonight is a milestone; Zoya (from Roscoe Village) and Karan (from South Loop) are formally entering a long distance relationship.
“I live off the Harrison Red Line stop, so I only date off of Grand, or Clark/Division…MAYBE Belmont if she has Uber One.” Karan told Genius Herald Reporters, “But Zoya and I had such a connection I made peace with the fact that she lived off of the Paulina Brown Line stop with a 14 minute walk.”
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Karan and Zoya began as any long distance couple - FaceTiming for hours, streaming episodes of Bridgerton over Teleparty, and sending each other care packages filled with local delicacies. However, after a failed sexting fiasco, it became clear that the two should meet, even if it meant traveling a portion of the nation to see each other. The two agreed to commence their relationship with a date and sleepover in Zoya’s neighborhood tonight.
Fears about the relationship persisted. “I don’t even know what to expect. What are brownstones like? What if she doesn’t have in-unit laundry?” Karan said while packing an overnight bag. He then asked Genius Herald Reporters if they could break a $50 into quarters.
“I’m also concerned. I’m such a Roscoe Village girl. It’s a key part of my identity,” said Zoya, who has only been clubbing in the Hange Uppe. “What if the culture clash is too much?”
Despite his qualms, Karan remained optimistic about the journey ahead of him. “At least I can be productive on the commute. I was thinking of listening to a few episodes of Acquired while avoiding eye contact with strangers on the red line, and then I might whittle a wooden duck for Zoya while on the brown line. Hopefully that will take up enough time.”
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When asked to comment, Zoya mentioned, “I have a whole itinerary of weekend plans for us. He said he visited Roscoe Village once when he was a kid but doesn’t remember, so I’m excited to show him the local gems, like the Mariano’s on Western. I might even take him up to Irving Park, but I know Karan is scared of riding the bus.”
At the time of publishing, Karan was last seen waiting for the Brown Line to arrive at the Belmont station, which is experiencing minor delays.
