GRANT PARK — With Lollapalooza starting today, festival fans are excited to get out, rock out, and check out the festival fashions and celebrity appearances. Recent news-maker COVID-19 Delta Variant was spotted front and center on the first day of the fest, covered in glitter and drinking straight vodka from a water bottle. After everything we went through in 2020, you do you, DV!
“We’d been standing at the T-Mobile stage all day trying to get front and center for Miley [Cyrus],” said Ausghlee Carter, 22, an online influencer with dozens of followers, “and suddenly I spied DV right in the crowd next to us. She was so sweet and approachable, which is surprising for someone with her level of fame. She’s not been on the scene long, but she is hot, hot stuff. Like the fever I’m going to have by the time I get home from Lolla next week.”
“I’m flying back to Colorado through O’Hare, I can’t wait to tell everyone I meet that I met DV.”
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The especially virulent contagion joins thousands of revelers at the festival in Grant Park this weekend, where fun, sun, and music are as guaranteed as Delta Variant’s 98% survival rate. Participants are encouraged to wear sunblock to protect themselves from the sun and masks if they feel like it, but really no big deal if they don’t want to or get so high they forget.
“We know festival-goers were crushed to miss out on all the expensive fun last year,” said Brace Petorivk, 32, one of Lollapalooza’s festival coordinators. “This year people are coming here to listen to incredible artists, DaBaby, and see exciting public figures like DV dancing with them in a big sweaty mass. And don’t worry, I just know everyone coming is going to be vaccinated. They wouldn’t lie to good Ol’ Brace!”
Delta Variant, rolling on a little bit of molly scored from a friend who came with her friend’s cousin, was seen later that night at the Steve Aoki set, making out with various people in the crowd. Lucky for them, they’ll get to leave Lollapalooza with fun memories and a little bit of DV!