Friend Who Just Got Laid Off Being Kind Of Annoying About It

AVONDALE—In a frustrating and confusing turn of events, a friend who was just laid off from her food industry job this past week can’t stop talking about being laid off. 

Katie Matheson, 25, a friend for seven years and change, was laid off last week from her job as a server at a local eatery, as they’ve switched to delivery and take-out orders only for the foreseeable future. Up until the last couple of weeks, Matheson’s job only involved cool stuff like slipping her pals a free drink and bringing home extra food for her roommates at the end of a shift. But now that her career has become a casualty of the Coronavirus pandemic sweeping the world, one of many jobs and lives at risk, she’s become a huge pain in the ass. 

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Matheson’s friend Shayne Janson, a 25-year-old sales associate, has been feeling the pressure of the current situation weighing on her. “During a Facetime that was supposed to be about how cooped up I’m feeling, she just kept saying stuff like ‘Should I rent strike?’ and ‘I’m about to age out of my parents’ insurance’ in a way that made me feel super unheard,” Janson said, unpeeling a banana into her nutribullet while working from home.  Despite her friends dropping hints like pointedly not liking her tweets about being unemployed, Matheson has continued to seek out employment and speak out about her sudden lack of job in a way that seems, well, desperate.

Other friends of Matheson agreed that her LinkedIn post seeking out available work in her industry was ‘a little much.’ “I mean, what is she trying to prove?” asked college acquaintance Becca Schwartz, 26, a digital marketer. “I’m supposed to work from home for the next couple months and I haven’t kicked up a fuss online. And I could, if I wanted to! I have a lot of followers who would love to see me do a TikTok dance. That’s never not in my back pocket.” 
With the rest of your friend group organizing group Zoom calls and online games, Matheson’s absence from the festivities has been noticed. “It’s like she’s the girl at the sleepover who calls her Mom at 10 PM to pick her up because she’s scared of the opening credits of Miss Congeniality 2,” said Schwartz, rolling her eyes. “Can someone pick her up, please?” At press time, Matheson was found trying to screenshot the .gov page about filing for unemployment insurance before it crashed again.

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