Fuck, Saint Patricks Day Parade Is Cancelled! Can You Help Save the Day by Solving These Four Math Problems?

Did you hear the news that the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade is cancelled this year? Man, this really sucks. If only there was a way to get things back to normal. Hang on...didn’t you say you were taking Algebra II this year? That’s some pretty advanced stuff.

Oh my gosh, can you believe this? I just talked to the King of COVID-19, and he says he’ll pull back his viral army and let the parade happen! On one condition...that you solve these four math problems for him. He’s wise in many ways, but math is confusing for him and he needs a little extra support outside the classroom. Can you help save the day by helping him out and solving these four math problems?

Problem Number One

For his friend’s exorcism, King Virus buys 4 cans of anchovies, each containing 10 anchovies. The King supplies each of his friends with 3 anchovies, and then he eats 6 anchovies himself. He now has 4 anchovies left. How many friends did King Virus give anchovies to?

Problem Number Two

Artemisia, Jeff and Jean-Luc Picard add up all of their ages and get a total of 29.  If they do the same thing 2 years from now, what will be their total?

Problem Number Three

Solve for Jeff Ament:

5(Jeff Ament+7)=80

Problem Number Four

To prepare for a role, Nicole Kidman bought candy using a 10 dollar bill and received y dollars in change. Which of the following describes how much Nicole Kidman paid for the candy?

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