THE LOOP – New Years Eve, that awkward afterthought of a seasonal holiday, comes around the bend once more, this time sporting a distinctly midwestern feel. For the first time in history, “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest” broadcasts live from downtown Chicago. Fans of confetti, counting, and public vomiting will be thrilled to finally get to see that ball drop a little bit closer to home. There’s one issue with the celebration however; after living vicariously for so long in the Eastern Time Zone for the countdown to midnight, the ball will drop at 11PM Central Time.
Organizer of the event and self proclaimed “Central Time Zone Truther” Lindsay Hardberry, 45, spoke to our team about the mixup. “Look, we’ve been trained year after year that the ball drop happens at 11PM, and then we have another hour to drink enough to last through Dry January. We simply weren’t able to break that habit.” She shrugged, “Plus the ball uses a digital clock mechanism that’s as old as Dick Clark so we can’t reprogram it.”
Advertisement:
Last year’s celebration in New York City got such glittering celebrity appearances as Sabrina Carpenter, Cardi B, and LL Cool J. Chicago’s NYE festivities attract our unique brand of local stars, such as Chance the Rapper, but he’s been delayed by the CTA so John Cusack is on standby to cover.
Disaster over the timing of the ball drop isn’t the only distinctly Chicagoan mishap this year’s Rockin’ Eve has already fallen victim to. Confetti cannons filled with giardiniera, while in theory a good idea, caused jamming to the cannons and gave some midday partygoers rashes. Malört replacing the more classic champagne toast has sparked concern over tourists’ gastrointestinal health, and Ryan Seacrest is being forced to legally change his name to Ryan LakeMichigancrest.
