WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the heels of announcing that she was undergoing chemotherapy to treat a cancer recurrence, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg revealed Friday that she has been surreptitiously implanted into a cyborg body while in the hospital.
“Somewhere during her recovery she started rewatching the Star Wars Clone Wars series and began insisting I ‘put her in a Grevious’” said Dr. Iris Mandel, 52, referring to the cyborg commander from the Star Wars series. “She kept saying stuff like, ‘The time is nigh.’ Who am I to say no?”
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“As long as Trump is in office, I have a solemn duty to fill this seat, whether via human, or mechanoid buttock.” Ginsburg said to reporters outside the hospital through her new deep, hacking, mechanoid voice.
After being released from the hospital, by all accounts Justice Ginsburg is doing well.
“It’s actually not fair,” said Brett Kavanaugh, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. “They gave her four gavels. I want four gavels! I LIKE gavels.” He said, his face getting redder.
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Reportedly she’s insisting other justices now refer to her as “General RBGrevious”.
“And I always saw her as more of a Padme,” said Associate Justice Stephen Breyer, “But this is her position and the court respects it.”
Her newfound energy is proving distracting, however.
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“She recently dropped a 500 page dissenting opinion on my desk titled ‘Clone Wars Does More World Building for the Star Wars Universe Than the Prequels and Post-Lucas Films Do All Together ,’” continued Breyer. “I don’t understand what it's dissenting. All I said was I thought The Rise of Skywalker was fun. I liked The Clone Wars too!” Stephen added, referring to the Star Wars series about a small group of elite, non-elected officials ultimately proving unable to prop up a failing political project.
As of press time Ginsburg once again revealed that she was once again getting sick and began asking her doctors if they had ever seen Terminator 3.
