CTA
The Latest
CTA to Install Device That Plays Welcoming Jingle When Someone Opens the Doors Between Train Cars
“Best case scenario it’s someone running from something in their car, worst case scenario it’s a group of teenagers. We’ve determined that if a fun jingle played when the door opened, it might make everyone involved feel more welcome.”
Report: Bus Driver Idling Just Out of View Until You Order a Rideshare
“We’ve got a little computer der that shows when someone ahead has one of the apps open so we just wait until you break down and click ‘order ride’ before we gun it into view.”
CTA Says Buses and Trains Are Actually Running Regularly, You Just Have Bad Timing and Have Also Been Acting Really Weird Lately
Thompson said customers who complain about regularly missing their rides said the train or bus literally just left before you got there.
Blue Line Rider, Driver on I90 Lock Eyes, Wish for Each Other’s Lives
Making eye contact while their respective modes of transportation traveled briefly at the same speed, both women found themselves wishing for each other’s lives.
Man’s Backpack Taking Up Entire Train Car
“There are elderly people and expectant mothers on this train who’d like to sit down, and many of them were crushed to death.”
Bus Driver Asking Everyone To Kick In A Buck For Gas
49 BUS — In an effort to minimize the impact of the escalating prices, the bus driver on the 49 bus pulled over on Western and Harrison and is asking everyone to throw in a dollar or two before she
Suspenseful: CTA Bus Driver Just Opened The Giant Plexiglass Door For Some Reason
While the feeling of dread amongst the group was palpable, they weren’t short on theories as to how they ended up here in the first place, or possible solutions to get them moving again.
CTA Narrows Down Search for Private Security Team to “Seven Wandering Ronin” or “Experimental Law-Cyborg”
“Clearly this is a hard decision. Both groups have laid out impressive strategies for keeping Chicago’s trains safe, but ultimately we’re going with whoever makes the most sense for the city’s budget without taking one thin dime away from the police force.”
CTA Updates All Arrival Times to Question Marks
“Before, when I’d be waiting on a platform and the scheduled train didn’t appear, I’d feel a horrible chill as the ghost train went by.” said Janet Taylor, 43. “But now I look at the schedule screen and smile, knowing that they’re no longer tormented by a schedule they can’t keep. They’re finally at rest in their final destination, hell.”
Local Hero Really on Top of Warming Lamp Button
“The lamps are amazing,” she said, shivering. “It feels like I put the top half of my head in a microwave. The bottom 95% of my body is so jealous right now.”
