ART INSTITUTE —  Ahead of massive renovations to turn the Thompson Center into the GoogleMaxPrison Complex, the abstract outdoor statue that greets visitors to the Center is being rehoused by the A

“If the sun’s blacking out, so am I!”

“What they could never see coming is dyeing one quadrillion gallons of water a bright, resplendent green. That’s right, one quadrillion. That’s a real number, you can check.” 

According to Lopez, Serio spent much of the trip finding Lake Michigan somewhere to his west in order to locate museums, hotels, attractions and even to give a taxi instructions to find a gelato place in Rome.

EARTH — Following the retirement of WGN-TV’s weatherman Tom Skilling after a 45 year long television career, Weather has announced that it too will be retiring by the end of March, saying that won’

Initial findings reveal that it probably involves something about the ninety-one charges he’s facing across four separate trials or whatever.

LINCOLN PARK — As couples, situationships, throuples and roving polycules head to restaurants around the city to celebrate Valentine’s Day, Chicago’s singles are once again wondering what this roma

“Look, in my defense,” Birchnell, who is being charged with Circumstantial Kidnapping and Stereotyping, “my boyfriend looks exactly like most of the men in Chicago.” 

As temperatures drop into single and negative degrees, Marshall seems to be holding fast to his avoidance of any kind of skin care, despite peer pressure from his friends who are regularly moisturizing.

“I heard someone on the platform say something like ‘good to have the Skokie Swift back,’” said Greg Watkaski, 48, a pharmacist, “come on, man, have a little tact. What if the Yellow Line heard you calling it by its nickname from the glory days?”