For Bradley, 2 (in human years), this marks the third attempt at the maze since trials began.
"At the end of the day, I always treat myself to one or two cigarette butts. Everything in moderation, that’s the key."
The election of a new Rat Pope follows a week of secret conclave in the basement vault of the Board of Trade building, which by ancient treaty operates as a sovereign city-state known as the “Rat Vatican,” or “Ratican.”
"We happen to think Malort tastes like what we imagine Sonic the Hedgehog’s piss would taste like, which would be very good since he is the good guy in his video game. Malort is a natural addition to all of the other delicious foods and drinks you’ll find in the Whole30 pantry.”
If patrons meet the belugas and are unsatisfied with their squeaks, tricks, and general demeanor, they can, for an added $100, initiate the “Meat the Belugas” activity.
Residents report seeing changes take effect around 6AM on Sunday, as the bold architectural style of Hyde Park returned to the understated, drab buildings of Jekyll Park.
The elusive man, who many are now calling “The Smoking Angel”, wasn’t deterred by the growing crowd around him. “Now, now,” he called out, “don’t push! There’s plenty of cig to go around! Everyone will get a turn, I promise.”
The new Bottle Nosed Beauties show will not only entertain our adult guests, but it will also teach them that dolphins, sea lions, and other marine mammals can be extremely sexy, as well as athletic.
Woman Breaking Up With Boyfriend At Belmont Stop Would Have Been Powerful Warrior-Priestess In Pre-Christian Society
Casual observers state that Omringo could not have looked more stunned if he’d been a Roman legionnaire staring at his own spilled intestines on what was supposed to be a routine patrol through Gallic territory in 57 BCE.
"We wanted to go high shelf on this one and ended up buying the sterling silver fork that Elvis used before he died on the toilet. The people of Chicago demand quality.”