CHICAGO — A new measure to slow down Chicago drivers has passed a council committee vote and is on its way to a final city council vote. The measure would lower Chicago city-wide speed limit from 30 miles per hour over the posted limits to 25 over the posted limit. Experts and council members hope that the 5 mph reduction might make all the difference, but opponents argue “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY.”
“We know that the average driver in Chicago sees a sign that says ‘30’ and knows there’s some built-in wiggle room depending on how busy traffic is, how late you are, or if you just feel like it,” said Ald. Daniel La Spata, who introduced the measure. “This measure could save lives and still give Chicagoans the ‘legal flexibility’ to make it home in time for the Bears’ game or before their takeout gets cold.”
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“Studies show that a pedestrian hit by a car going 30 mph has a 60% chance of survival. If the speed is reduced by even 5 mph the odds jump to 90.” said transportation department Commissioner Tom Carney. “If we can get drivers to slow down from 30 over to 25 over, we’re going to see survival odds as high as 2%, and that’s very exciting.”
“Folks drive pretty fast through this neighborhood,” said Nancy Burgess, 74, a resident of Gage Park, “I guess it would be nice if they went slightly-less-too-fast? Fast enough to shatter all my bones, but not fast enough to make me explode like an old pumpkin. I guess that’s progress?”
Though the measure passed in the council committee, there was vocal opposition from dissenting committee members.
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“I just want to know who is paying for all this new signage,” said Ald. David Moore. “We’re talking about changing a 30 to a 25, that’s going to require a whole new sign. Why can’t we just paint over the ‘3’ and make the speed limit 0 and just let people pick their own speed? Or just paint an asterisk on all the signs to refer drivers to a supplemental sign that explains the new speed limit. Worked for David Foster Wallace!”
While the final decision will come down to a pending City Council vote, pedestrians expressed hope that this measure is a step to making Chicago’s streets safer.
“Yeah, I have no hope. People are just going to ignore whatever they put up,” said Nancy Burgess, “No one’s read a sign in this city since prohibition.”
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