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To Improve Pedestrian Safety, City Urges Residents to Go Full “Bubble Boy”

Instead of the pesky task of implementing traffic control and asking auto- owners not to Wordle and drive, the city went a more defensive route. 

What The Hell: Roommate Had Car This Whole Time

“I thought Dave was a bro, but this really cranks it for me,” said a distraught Mason. “I bailed on Greta Van Fleet the last time they played the Rosemont Theatre because I didn’t want to take the blue line all the way up there, and when I told Dave this he just said, ‘damn man, that sucks’ like he couldn’t do anything about it, when he totally could’ve.”