EVANSTON—Following news that former Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel had received a contributing editorship at The Atlantic and had been named a political contributor to ABC News just days after leaving office, Journalism programs across the country have begun advising students to become Chicago’s mayor first if they’re serious about making a career in a newsroom.
“It’s been an open secret for a long time that journalism is notoriously difficult industry to break into,” said Andrea Takeuchi, 54, the program director for Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism, “so we’re obviously very excited about anything that can give graduates a leg up in this highly competitive line of work, even if it requires an extended detour into the literal viper pit of one of our nation’s most corrupt local governments.”
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J-School students across the nation have also expressed their excitement at the opportunity to trail blaze a path into journalism that has the chance to pay real dividends for them. “I tried applying to a couple of alt-weeklies,” said current Stanford journalism student Ray White, 23, “trying to work my way up the ladder, but there’s no money in any of those places so no one’s hiring.”
“I was frustrated, sure,” White continued, “but now that I know I can just cover up the police murder of an unarmed black teen, continuously astroturf support for a music festival my brother basically co-owns and shove through legislation approving a deeply unpopular mixed-use development project right as I leave office, and then still get hired by Jeffrey Goldberg to write—with a straight face—an article called ‘It’s Time To Hold American Elites Accountable for Their Abuses,’ the state of the industry doesn’t seem quite so bad.”
“After the Gawker bankruptcy proved you can destroy anything you don’t like if you throw enough money at a lawsuit involving Hulk Hogan and a shock jock named ‘Bubba The Love Sponge,’” recalled Tallulah Pike, 26, a graduate of Emerson College’s MA journalism program, “it became very easy to become discouraged in the current state of the media. Or when Mic laid off all their workers immediately after being bought by Bustle Digital Group in a ham-fisted attempt to bust a unionized workforce. Or after the Plain Dealer’s newsroom operation dropped 80% in 7 years due to mismanagement and layoffs, denying Cleveland a priceless source of local news. Or you know like, Fox News’s...whole deal,” she said, gesturing vaguely in the air before staring off into the middle distance for a protracted period of time.
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“Anyway, it only took Rahm 26 years to climb the ranks from being a Senior Adviser to the President to being Chicago’s 55th mayor,” Pike concluded. “With the strategies I learned in J-School I’m confident I can cut that in half.”
As of press time, newly-appointed Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot was seen deciding between Esquire, GQ and Cosmopolitan magazines in the checkout line of a North Center CVS so she could make an informed decision about where to demand a managing editorial position at after leaving office.
