Elderman Easily Bests Aldermen In City Age-Off

CITY HALL—In an embarrassing showing Tuesday afternoon in the municipal fight pit, Elderman handily defeated all fifty aldermen in the annual Chicago Age-Off. 

The Elderman, who has long loomed large in the city’s consciousness, was way older than any of the aldermen, many of whom are quite old. “I’m older than all of you,” said the Elderman.

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