Local Actor Getting the Feeling He’s the Only One Left Who Hasn’t Booked Chicago PD, Med or Fire

May 11, 2022

CHICAGO – Local Actor Craig Parson, 36, has been getting pretty fed up. He’s auditioned on 45 separate occasions for bit parts on the long-running One Chicago franchise, to no avail. He urged our reporters at Genius Herald to provide him with the platform to air his grievances, and since we had nothing better to do, we decided to humor him.

“I have a theater major from Northwestern, did a summer program at Steppenwolf, and studied clowning with Commedia Dell’Arte experts in Italy only to be told my bone structure doesn’t make me believable as murder victim. I mean who’s Dick Wolf do I need to suck around here to be cast on these shows!”

We asked him how many of his fellow actor friends have booked the NBC series, and he looked into the middle distance with disdain. “My FORMER friends have all been cast at one point or another during the past ten years. My neighbor was just walking down the street and they cast her. Did you see the last episode of PD? That child actor was such a hack he couldn’t even not breathe when he was supposed to be dead. I don’t know what else I can do. I snuck into an ambulance to study the character work the real heroes of Chicago do on a daily basis, and now I’m banned from all the city hospitals. I have to go to Winnetka to go to the doctor.”

When our reporters asked what his next steps for his career were, he remained steadfast in his conviction. “Honestly it’s not even the kind of work I want to do, but it’s become something bigger than that now. It’s a matter of pride and I’m not giving up, even if I have to wait until NBC launches their follow up series, Chicago Sanitation.” 

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