MUSEUM CAMPUS — As Chicago’s returning Tier 1 COVID restrictions begin to allow for the return of limited indoor dining and in-person visits to cultural institutions, the Field Museum has reopened its doors for the first time in two months. Responding to safety concerns, the museum has also introduced a new promotion for Illinois residents interested in visiting the museum: with valid Illinois ID, the museum will offer space in its refrigerated specimen storage to any patron who dies of COVID during their visit.
In an interview with the Genius Herald, the museum’s chief marketing officer Ray DeThorne said that the Field is “excited to welcome our visitors back, even knowing that many of them are contagious.” DeThorne further explained that the offer was simply an extension of the Field’s commitment to “lifelong learning” for Illinois residents, given that Illinois residents’ lives “just aren’t that long.”
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The Field Museum is reportedly planning to house the newly-deceased science fans in space left by specimens the museum liquidated during the pandemic. Collections specialist Rita Choudhury, 34, said that the decision to “sell Sue the T-Rex downstate” was particularly difficult. “Would have been nice if there had been a meaningful stimulus package that kept institutions like the Field solvent while keeping Illinoisans safe at home.” Choudhury shrugged. “But I’m sure Sue’ll be happy knowing that her fans are stored right where she was!”
As the first visitors in months explored the Field over the weekend, many were thrilled about this opportunity. “I’ve been wanting to see the mummies up close since the pandemic started,” said Mundelein resident Barry Loomis, 70, “And now I’ll basically have the chance to be one! Just as soon as I finally succumb to this case of COVID I caught at the MCA.”
And true to the Field’s philanthropic nature, museum fans like Loomis aren’t the only ones benefiting from this new policy. “Tier 1 guidelines encourage us to offer accommodation to our vulnerable employees,” DeThorne volunteered with a wink, “and we’re going to take them up on it in a big way. As a big thank you, we’re offering employees of ALL this city’s cultural institutions a spot in our largest cold storage vault, in the inevitable event that some of them catch COVID and die.”
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DeThorne reminds our readers that The Field Museum will remain open through all potential visitor deaths, “because we have literally no other choice.”
