CHICAGO — As the national economy continues to recover in the midst of the pandemic, consumers are continuing to feel the hurt of inflation when they shop. As costs rise and home budgets tighten, economic experts have offered a solution for the frustrated public: just try to pretend things were always this price.
“People are getting tired of higher prices at the grocery store and gas station,” said Paul Allenvince, 54, a professor of economics at Northwestern, “and I think they’d feel a lot better if they just pretended that this was always how much things cost.”
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According to Allenvince, families struggling to pay for food could mitigate the stress of inflation by just pretending they’ve always lived in a world where a bottle of olive oil was ten dollars.
“I understand that people are frustrated by high prices, but if you choose to walk into Jewel-Osco and think ‘this is how much produce has always cost, and I’m ok with that,’ you’ll feel a lot better about the impact on your wallet.”
“My family is suffering,” said Wilma Flintson, 43, a CPA, “but I guess I could try to pretend that we aren’t? Yeah, gas has always cost four dollars a gallon, and that's just the way I like it.”
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“I recommend that the American public circumvent this economic stress by just pretending it isn’t there, or that inflation is ‘cool,’” said Allenvince, “it’s always worked for this country before. If you pretend the weather has always been this erratic or our leadership has always been this inept it becomes a lot easier to just shrug and say ‘I guess that’s just how it is.’”
With no end in sight to the rising cost of living, Allenvince suggested sinking deeper into a fantasy world might be the only way out.
“I recommend at least two to three layers of fantasy to cope with modern life,” said Allenvince, “When I’m at the supermarket, I’m not a lonely economist, I’m a spy who can afford spending hundreds of dollars, but is just pretending to be upset with the pricing so the KGB mole I’m tracking can’t find me. And my wife is a sexy race car driver. Try being upset about the cost of chicken then!”
