hot dogs

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Vienna Beef Headquarters Flaunting Increasingly Rococo Style

“When people see the Vienna Beef brand, they associate it with European opulence and glamour,” said PR rep Lambert-Sigisbert Adam, 59, admiring the asymmetrical shells festooning a decorative column on the loading dock. “So we’re aiming to give them more of the same with this remodel.”

Chicagoans Urged to Eat 120 Sport Peppers Each to Support Struggling Hot Dog Stands

“Sixty hotdogs isn’t a lot to ask of our community,” said Pankodopolis, “many Chicagoans—in particular our population of thick-necked men with impossibly European-sounding last names—are already having dozens of dogs a month. We just need the rest of you to rise to the occasion.”