CHICAGO — After a successful retail launch of bottled mild sauce, famed chicken joint Harold’s Chicken is now looking to capitalize on the success with more products. The purveyor of crispy chicken and tangy sauces has announced plans to step out of the kitchen and into your bathroom with a new mild sauce body wash that will be hitting shelves soon.
“We were thrilled with the public’s reception of bottled mild sauce,” said Kristen Pierce, the owner of Harold’s Chicken and daughter of founder Harold Pierce. “Seeing how much people wanted to take our special mild sauce home, we just knew we had to branch out and see how far this mild rocket could fly. We called up Johnson & Johnson and said ‘what do you think?’ and they said ‘we can do anything with chemicals you come up with, no matter how fucked up,’ and now we’re in the bodywash business!”
The bodywash, which includes the key ingredients in Harold’s famous mild sauce plus several impossible-to-pronounce detergents, promises to be “a mild shower experience” and features numerous warnings not to let the bodywash come into contact with your “eyes, mouth or genitals.” The bottle will feature Harold's “King Chef” chasing a chicken while wearing a towel and wielding a scrub-brush.
“Keeping the Harold’s history and flavor in our body wash was very important to us,” said Pierce. “Mild body wash has the same sweet, savory, mildly spicy flavor of our signature sauce, but as a soap. When you bring a bottle of mild body wash into the bathroom, we want you to feel like you're a piece of our signature fried chicken or fish, and we want you to be very careful to not get it into your eyes or on your genitals. Harold’s mild body wash promises to be as mild as our sauce, but not ‘genitals mild,’ you know.”
Fans of the chicken franchise will be able to find bottles of mild body wash on the shelves at Pete’s Fresh Markets, and Harold’s Chicken has already promised to expand its line of cosmetics to include conditioner based on its signature frying batter.