Thanks to their brutal winters and short seasons, Chicagoans have to take any chance they have to stock up on enough vitamin D to get them through the snow time. One local woman, Shakira Massey, is consistently shocked at the overnight transformation a little sunshine and a non-lethal breeze can have on her outlook of living in Chicago.
“I’m like, wow, I forgot that I actually like living here!” Massey, 38, an advertising marketing executive at some random company, disclosed to our reporters. “Every year without fail, I’m always stunned at the impact that nice weather has on my opinion of life here in Chicago.”
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“From the months of October to April I couldn’t tell you many nice things about this city beyond the surplus of alcohol and the effectiveness of my landlord’s radiators at keeping my apartment at a balmy 95 degrees.” Massey admits, chagrined. “Once I’m able to step outside of my apartment without eight layers of coats however, I could wax poetic about this beautiful city for ages. Did you know we have a lake!? She's for real gorgeous.”
Local psychiatrist Bethany Raj, 58, explained some findings on this subject. “It’s a phenomenon midwestern scientists have been studying for decades now. We’ve labeled it as the ‘Chicago Fairweather Phenomenon.’ Similar to the amnesia that some women’s bodies undergo to forget the pain of childbirth so that the species continues to reproduce, the body can forgive the bite of Lake Michigan winter wind, once it gets a nice dose of a warm breeze.”
We asked one of Massey’s closest friends if the change from winter to spring really impacted her as much as she claims. “Oh god,” Austin Garve, 35, lamented. “It’s like pulling teeth to try to get her to come out of her apartment for even a bar trivia night in February. But last week she signed us all up for a pickleball team. Without asking.”
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“What grossed me out in January now has me practically giddy with delight.” Massey assures us. “I’m gladly opening my mouth under the L tracks to get a taste of that sweet city goo. I’ve started making friends with the rats that live in my alley. I’ve even willingly offered some out of town friends to come stay with me for a summer visit. Everyone should see this place!”
