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Oscar Statuette

Every Wednesday

Finally, you will be punished for your crimes.

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Chicago Real Estate Developer Replaces Aging Greystone With Single Pane of Glass

Chicago Invokes Ancient Alliance With Cheese Castle, Bristol Ren Faire to Secure Northern Border

"I Guess I'll Go Fuck Myself Then," Announces Woman Carrying Duffel Filled With Loose Blades Upon Seeing "Enjoy The Parks Safely" Sign

Southport Moms Get Tangled up, Create Mom King

Mayor Lightfoot Lowers Bridges Into River

Rat Feeling Left Out Of This Particular Plague Narrative

Opinion

Luigi

You Know, It’s-a Luigi’s Birthday, Too

Dominic Brassile

Let Me Drink From The Kiddie Pool Filled With Fire Hydrant Runoff

Succulent Plant

I Don't See Color. I Don't Hear Noises. I Don't Breathe Smells. I Am A Succulent Plant.

Alain Germain Duphraine IV PhD Candidate in Poli Sci

Sorry Leftists, But Socialism Never Could’ve Produced The Conditions Necessary To Create Buffalo Wild Wings

The Bean

Without Anyone to Reflect, Am I Even Still A Mirror?

Mercy - a concerned coyote

Rat Week? Where the Hell is Coyote Week?

The Beleaguered Friends Of Performers

If We Come To Your Theatre Company's Fundraiser, We Want You To Promise You Won't Do Any Weird Plays In 2020

Tabitha Chandry

So Your Dog Can Wear Boots And Sweaters But Can’t Ask Me Any Polite Follow-Up Questions About My Hand Loom?

King Solomon

A Compromise: We Can Solve This CPS Labor Dispute By Cutting All The Students in Half

Delia Loufringo

Every Time My Hair Gets Pulled In The Bedroom, I End Up In The Kitchen Making French Cooking

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