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Oscar Statuette

Every Wednesday

Finally, you will be punished for your crimes.

Popular

AC Unit Steadied With Brick, Plate, Book, Human Femur

Wicker Park Woman on Date With Man From Lakeview Unsure if She’s Ready for Long Distance Relationship

Republican Wakes up From Terrible Nightmare That Chicago Was Hiding Under Bed

Friend Visiting From Out of Town Hoping You Had Some Ideas

Aldermen Decide on Final “Magic Eye” Ward Map

Swarm of DePaul Students Irritating Midges Enjoying Nice Weather

Opinion

Natalie Losse - Film Critic

Choice Is An Illusion: Inside The Matrix Resurrections’ Allegory for My Debilitating IBS

MORTALAX THE DREAD-UNDEAD OVERLORD

It’s Time To Return the 12-Foot Jumbo Skeletons Where They Belong: My Lair

Helen Gremple - Former Mother

My Three Kids Were Also Eaten By A Skunk But You Don’t See Me Making A Whole To-Do About It

Craven Barnacle

Meet Craven Barnacle: The Mayor of Marina City

St. Patrick

If Ye Cancel My Parade, I’m Bringin’ Back the Snakes

Al Capone

Dis Year Seems Like as Good a Year as Any Ta Forget About Saint Valentine’s Day

Marcus Pencil

I Made Thousands From The Gamestop Trade Boom, But I’m Still Furious They Only Offered Me Fifty Cents for My Copy of Halo: Reach

Rahm Emanuel and Forrest Claypool

Who Needs An Immersive Cyberpunk 2077 Experience When We Have Ventra?

Zagam - Portillo’s CEO - Blood Demon

It’s Time for Illinois to Give Back to Its Business Community—in Blood

Dominic Brassile

Let Me Drink From The Kiddie Pool Filled With Fire Hydrant Runoff

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