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Oscar Statuette

Every Wednesday

Finally, you will be punished for your crimes.

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After Giant Carp Caught in Humboldt Park Lagoon, City Performs Emergency Airlift to Return Chance the Snapper

Construction Halted on Belmont Flyover as Crews Struggle to Find Allen Wrench They Dropped

Horrifying: The Train Is Standing for Signal Clearance

Bean Returns Home To Giant’s Castle In Sky For Thanksgiving

Giardiniera Spooned Into Trick-or-Treaters’ Bags

After Successful Launch of Bottled Mild Sauce, Harold’s Chicken Eyes Body Wash Market

Opinion

MORTALAX THE DREAD-UNDEAD OVERLORD

It’s Time To Return the 12-Foot Jumbo Skeletons Where They Belong: My Lair

Helen Gremple - Former Mother

My Three Kids Were Also Eaten By A Skunk But You Don’t See Me Making A Whole To-Do About It

Craven Barnacle

Meet Craven Barnacle: The Mayor of Marina City

St. Patrick

If Ye Cancel My Parade, I’m Bringin’ Back the Snakes

Al Capone

Dis Year Seems Like as Good a Year as Any Ta Forget About Saint Valentine’s Day

Marcus Pencil

I Made Thousands From The Gamestop Trade Boom, But I’m Still Furious They Only Offered Me Fifty Cents for My Copy of Halo: Reach

Rahm Emanuel and Forrest Claypool

Who Needs An Immersive Cyberpunk 2077 Experience When We Have Ventra?

Zagam - Portillo’s CEO - Blood Demon

It’s Time for Illinois to Give Back to Its Business Community—in Blood

Dominic Brassile

Let Me Drink From The Kiddie Pool Filled With Fire Hydrant Runoff

Succulent Plant

I Don't See Color. I Don't Hear Noises. I Don't Breathe Smells. I Am A Succulent Plant.

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