Why We Don’t Really Know What Electricity Is and Why That’s Okay

By Assoc. Prof. Carmichael Checkengine
Columnist

Electricity, the ultra-fast, poisonous juice that’s impossible to see, has been making headlines recently as companies rush to release products to harness this new development of human ingenuity. But before you jolt out of bed to purchase your new electricity device or “e-device”, it’s important to know just what all the fuss is about. Here are the facts.

  • Electricity is generated by turbines. Unfortunately scientists have no idea where turbines come from, so the trail stops cold there.
  • Household appliances typically consume between one and two feet of electricity an hour.
  • You can set electricity out to dry to make your own fruit roll ups.
  • It’s spicy!
  • Electricity is neither a liquid or a solid. It’s somewhere in between, like melted ice cream — and just as tasty for machines!
  • God is mad we have it.

So there you have it. Not convinced electricity is for you? You can always head to your public library where they now allow you to borrow some electricity — as long as you bring it back (not really haha, but you can test out their electric lights by turning them off and on repeatedly)!