Stu Denham - Chicago Style Columnist
I May Be Drenched In Sweat, But I’ll Die If I Can’t Wear a Jean Jacket In September
Every day in September I’m not armored up with my trusty blue, I feel a little part of me wither away. No, no, it’s NOT that I’ve lost a quarter of my body weight in water, it’s a spiritual connection. I hope you can understand.
Natalie Losse - Film Critic
Choice Is An Illusion: Inside The Matrix Resurrections’ Allegory for My Debilitating IBS
In The Matrix Resurrections, Lana Wachowski ascends beyond the easy-going, carefree lives of trans people and explores the adversity and heartbreak of my irregular shitting.
MORTALAX THE DREAD-UNDEAD OVERLORD
It’s Time To Return the 12-Foot Jumbo Skeletons Where They Belong: My Lair
Horrifying and deadly all of them may be, but they’re also my creations/thralls/employees, and we depend on each other. So, while I don’t like to be the bad guy (I love it), I have to ask you to return them.
Helen Gremple - Former Mother
My Three Kids Were Also Eaten By A Skunk But You Don’t See Me Making A Whole To-Do About It
For months now, coverage of Monty and Rose, the Piping Plovers who nest at Montrose Beach, has been seemingly inescapable.
Meet Craven Barnacle: The Mayor of Marina City
Most people don’t make it all the way to the top of these towers. But you have made it, so I must introduce myself. That is the rule!
If Ye Cancel My Parade, I’m Bringin’ Back the Snakes
So ye might think ye have plenty of snakes there in Chicago, but pardon me, ye have no feckin’ idea how many there were before yer pal Pat came along.
Dis Year Seems Like as Good a Year as Any Ta Forget About Saint Valentine’s Day
Here’s da angle: I tink it’s high time Chicago kinda forgot about St. Valentine’s Day, for ALL our sakes.
I Made Thousands From The Gamestop Trade Boom, But I’m Still Furious They Only Offered Me Fifty Cents for My Copy of Halo: Reach
Like many other denizens of the garden of earthly delights known as Reddit, I wielded my keen intellect this week to squeeze Wall Street short sellers out of several thousand dollars using my dad’s MacBook and the Robinhood account he set up for me. My dad was proud of me, once I kindly explained to him my stratagem. GameStop had rewarded my genius. I was, for a brief moment, king.
Rahm Emanuel and Forrest Claypool
Who Needs An Immersive Cyberpunk 2077 Experience When We Have Ventra?
This week, Polish video game developer CD Projekt Red released their long-anticipated and oft-delayed title “Cyberpunk 2077,” to decidedly mixed critical reception.
Zagam - Portillo’s CEO - Blood Demon
It’s Time for Illinois to Give Back to Its Business Community—in Blood
At Portillo’s, as in Hell, we say “Get Obsessed.” Now, more than ever, you must. Enter the brainless state of the True Abyss and give unto us your will. And then, of course, your blood.