The Beleaguered Friends Of Performers
If We Come To Your Theatre Company's Fundraiser, We Want You To Promise You Won't Do Any Weird Plays In 2020
You cannot call us up on stage during an “experimental” theater piece if you are going to make. Us. Wear. Your. Clothes. And. Pretend. To. Be. Your. Own. Cat. Who. Is. In. Heat. We are not doing that!!!
So Your Dog Can Wear Boots And Sweaters But Can’t Ask Me Any Polite Follow-Up Questions About My Hand Loom?
It’s just an interesting double standard, Beth, that your dog can wear a sweater on its chest and four boots on its hooves but can’t ask me any polite follow-up questions about my hand-looming practice.
To solve this strike we must take a large, ceremonial sword and cut every student enrolled in public school in half, but on a horizontal plane, not vertical because they’d all die. If we just cut off their legs, only some will die, but others will thrive as my plan makes Chicago’s public school system the envy of the world.
How many times has this happened to you? Things are getting a little hot and heavy in the boudoir, and you tell your current partner it’s okay if they want to get a little rough with you.
M’ladies and gentlemen of the venerable Student Council, I am but a humble man.
C'mere! Do ya ever find yerself in need of a thunderous good meal betwixt yer mornin' whiskey bender and yet evenin' blowin' up a hillside?
Anna Hart and Edmund Pathfinder
In his heart, Jamie knew the risks. He made a sacrifice - the ultimate sacrifice - so that he could get you, Anna, to safety.
I personally fantasize about what would happen to me if I was ever caught in an “active shooter” situation.
It is wit heavy heart dat I inform you dat none of da candidates are dumb enough to tackle da dumb Chicago hog vote in da upcoming election.
HRH Prince Friedrich Ruprecht Hapsburg III
Ven mama left ze palace she said she vas going to bring me mein nonpareils und goo goo clusters, und she has been gone for a long time...do you know where she is?