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Wicker Park Walgreens Closes: Managers, Employees Sealed in Vitamin Vault to Sell Vitamins in Afterlife

As the store turned off its lights for the last time, employees and one manager were anointed with fragrant oils from the store’s beauty department and allowed to pick one snack to take with them. Walgreens informed us the snack was not for consumption, but to pay the crocodile-headed ferryman to safely shepherd employee souls into the afterlife.

Walgreens Cooler Screen Playing Shrek 2 Again

The doors started to play Shrek 2 in its entirety on a loop early this week. Employees have tried multiple solutions short of reading the manual, but Shrek remains.

Not Taking The Bait: Everyone Is Pretty Much Ignoring This Guy Outside The Walgreens Who's Wearing A "Mr. Cool Ice Jr." Tanktop And Has A Lhasa Apso In A Babybjörn

Although no one is really able to intuit whether Mr. Ice Jr. is there representing some kind of movement or organization based on the vibes he’s giving off, pretty much everyone has unofficially agreed to not get caught up in his bullshit.