Politics

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Mitch McConnell Affirms He’s Against Term Limits While Wearing Dark Sunglasses, Being Propped Up By Aides

McConnell kept his arms affixed to his two aides and spoke in a trademark southern drawl, but never seemed to actually open his mouth. 

Paul Vallas Begins Looking For Subletter for Bridgeport Apartment

Political experts and even complete laymen have theorized that Vallas liking several social media posts calling Chicago a “hell hole” and “the kind of city where idiots will vote for anyone” may have damaged his campaign and probably contributed to his brief stint in Chicago city limits.

House Republicans Defend Trump "When You Think About It, Two Impeachments is a New High Score"

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Leading the charge in the defense of President Trump Wednesday, Sen.

After Aides Infected, Mike Pence Institutes Inquisition Among Staff

The Vice President has reportedly leveraged his role as the chief of President Trump’s coronavirus task force to establish a “Holy Inquisition to Root Out The Causes of Pestilence” among his staffers.

GOP Reminds Americans to Not Wear White, Vote After Labor Day

"If you vote, it’s likely that your neighbors and friends are going to talk behind your back about how tacky you are. You know how people are wont to talk and gossip!"

Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg Debuts New Four-Armed Cybernetic Body

Reportedly she’s insisting other justices now refer to her as “General RBGrevious”. 

G7 Summit Releases Statement Urging Bolsonaro to Just Watch FernGully

Upon receiving viewing instructions from the G7, Bolsonaro angrily rejected Macron’s Amazon Prime password.