“We understand people are upset, and we’re working hard to issue chunks of flint to all our passengers.”

“We’re looking at a real chance for a ‘shorts and tee Christmas’".

Jolly old Saint Nicholas himself has been spotted lighting up a dart on the Holiday Train.

“I would rather never speak to anyone again than wait for the 82 after already going through the emotional labor of catching the 80.” 

"Let’s see Neytiri get blasted on hard seltzers and fly a dragon into the Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville on Navy Pier. Maybe they find some ‘unobtainium’ at the bottom of the lake, who knows!"

“We’re making sure that driver safety and comfort is considered,” said Borle. “There’s windows, so we can pass them food and water. Ugh, I can tell you all are wondering about bathroom breaks. Look, I don’t want to say it. You’re going to get mad at me.”

“It’s been a long, beautiful career,” said Burke. “And I plead the fifth.”

“Best case scenario it’s someone running from something in their car, worst case scenario it’s a group of teenagers. We’ve determined that if a fun jingle played when the door opened, it might make everyone involved feel more welcome.”

"There’s a delicate coordination to still seem proud of your friends for following their dreams, and never having to give suggestions from uncomfortable chairs in dusty performance spaces."

“We’ve got a little computer der that shows when someone ahead has one of the apps open so we just wait until you break down and click ‘order ride’ before we gun it into view.”