5-ingredient Dirt

By Tabor McPike

C’MERE! Do ya ever find yerself in need of a thunderous good meal betwixt yer mornin’ whiskey bender and yer evenin’ blowing up a hillside for them sweet yeller ores? This week I found m’self in such a gut-growlin perdicament, and halfa Telluride on my tail after a mighty misunderstandin regardin’ my line of credit at the town waterin’ hole. Anyhow, I was leavin’ anyway — the gold in that hill wasn’t fixin to blow itself out the ground. So I reached back into my memory for a meal befitting an on-the-go gentleman of fortune such’s myself. I find this recipe makes an impressively filling and unique meal for its apparent simplicity, the component parts each lending their distinctive terroir, you could say. I sourced my soil from locales near & dear to me — that is, where the damn gold’s at — but your own local hillside will no doubt provide a unique bouquet and texture. Well, go on, git!

5-Ingredient Dirt
Serves 2 | Prep Time: 15 Minutes | Cook Time: Dirt

1 cup Dirt
1 1/2 cups Dirt
2 handfuls Dirt, sifted
1 cup Dirt
1 level tsp Dirt

Carefully combine dry ingredients, checkin for gold flakes!!! Yew never know!!! Stir with finger to combine and season to taste. Eat. G’won, git!