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Foxtrot and Dom’s Merge, but Aren’t Renaming to “Domfox”, Furry Chicagoans Outraged

The Chicago furry community however, is left wanting more, as they so often are, upon realizing that the new consolidation won’t be dubbed ‘DomFox.”

Midwest Furfest Theme “Intergalactic” Massive Disappointment After Everyone Goes As The Dog Who Went to Space

“Laika has swag,” said FurFest regular Archie Tucker, 27. “Everybody wants to be Laika; they want that cosmos-bound Soviet dog flavor, you know. That 1950s orbital fuckability.”

Bulls Creative Management Announces That Benny The Bull Will No Longer Be Depicted As A Primo Dime Piece With A Fat, Juicy Dumper Moving Forward

“Sadly Benny was developed during a time when mascots were seen as little more than eye candy,” explained Bulls marketing lead Harris Gherkin, 36, “and his initial design as a slim thicc baddie with a full moon booty that drives everyone—and we mean everyone—wild with desire is an unfortunate relic of that era that the Bulls are keen to move past.”

Genius Herald Exclusive: State Rep. Who Proposed Bobcat Hunting Ban Tailless Mammal Himself

When pressed on the contents of that lunch, Didech mentioned that he had ordered sushi, which overwhelmingly features raw fish as an ingredient. Bobcats are also opportunistic predators who often prey on Illinois’ fish population

Chicagoan Struggling to Embrace Visible Roots After Two Months Without the Salon

“Benny takes a lot of pride in his hair,” said basketball enthusiast Michael Jordan, 57. “He gets it dyed twice a month. I think it looks awesome, and I hope his natural color isn’t gross.”