Jack von Albade
Jack von Albade's Articles
In an effort to save his job and salvage the 2020 season, deranged Chicago Bears Head Coach Matt Nagy has cobbled together a monstrous new starting quarterback in his secret laboratory beneath Soldier Field.
“Building a big-ass armchair with like twelve cupholders, a grill and a chamber pot. Once baseball’s back I’m never getting up or anything,” said Landis in a tweet accompanied by an animated gif of ALF playing a guitar.
Skilling, who has been off the air since early March to recover from surgery, emerged from his stasis pod early Sunday and announced, “A tempest grows in the north,” before erupting in green light.