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Woman Having Good Day Until Realizing There’s a Cubs Game

At first, I didn’t think anything of the High Noon cans littering the sidewalk. Then I saw one man in a Cubs hat and just figured he was a casual fan. But then, like a hoard of locusts reigning plague upon the Egyptians.

Cubs To Require All Foul Balls Be Returned In Cost-Cutting Move

Wrigley Field ushers have become overzealous in pursuit of “ball thieves,” as the Cubs clubhouse puts it.

Ricketts Family Unveils Plans for “Poors Only” Bleachers At Wrigley Field; Cubs Fans Rejoice

Todd Ricketts clutched a sack with a large dollar sign printed on the outside as he reassured the entirely unconcerned crowd that “binocular rentals will be available for these peons.