Christmas
The Latest
Santa Claus Blasting Cigs on the Holiday Train
Jolly old Saint Nicholas himself has been spotted lighting up a dart on the Holiday Train.
Mulled Wine All Spices
“And when they handed me a mug of damp spices, I knew I’d beaten the crowd!”
Music Box Staff Frantically Rehearsing Choreography After Misplacing “White Christmas”
When the theater staff was unable to locate the film for the showing this weekend, staff scrambled to avoid disappointing moviegoers, landing on an unusual solution: current reports indicate that employees are attempting to rehearse and stage the famous musical — live — in the days preceding the planned event.
The CTA Holiday Train is Back, and This Year’s Theme is Presidents Day
This year's train will not only feature a spectacular light display, but also quiet reverence for the men who have served this nation as commander in chief. The train will travel all the CTA train lines from now until the week of Christmas, which has been the theme for the last several years.
Christmas Tree Recycled Into Christmas Tree Stock
“The secret is to leave in a couple ornaments, for flavor.”
Christmas Miracle! Guy Hit By The Christmas Bus Going to Be Fine
The whole thing played out exactly like the holiday classic “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” only instead of a sweet old granny being bowled over by one of Santa’s enthusiastic pets, it was a man being fully run over by a bus.
No Way Coworker’s White Elephant Gift Under $10 Spending Limit
The gift, an Oster brand electric wine opener, set off a wave of reactions throughout the office party, ranging from “boiling rage” to “so mad your stomach hurts and your vision gets blurry.”
Christmas Ghosts Not Optimistic About Third Consecutive Visit to Trump
"This isn’t a guy you can show a grave and he freaks out and changes his life. I showed him his grave TWICE and both times he said it was ‘fake.’"
Record Low Numbers of Rosy-Cheeked Tots Pressed To Holiday Windows Amidst Retail Decline
Each year has seen at least 4% fewer flushed youngsters thronging with glee outside America’s toy boutiques and big-box stores.
