Lake Michigan

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Lake Michigan Rises to Unsettling 90 Degree Angle

Chicago residents have been treated to a rare glimpse of lake dwellers as hundreds of walleye and Chinook salmon were swept up with the rising tides. “It’s like an aquarium but all the fish are kinda gross looking,” noted Kyra Evans, 7. “Living in the lake must be kind of a bummer, if everyone looks like that.”

Development Begins on Top of Frozen Lake Michigan

The new project, dubbed “The Ice District” is only the first of many new projects to take advantage of all this new “land” created by the winter. 

2020 Christkindlmarket Mugs Dumped Into Lake Michigan to Create Artificial but Festive Reef

LAKE MICHIGAN — With this year’s Christkindlmarkets canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, organizers have made the decision to dump the entire supply of 2020 gluhwein mugs into Lake Michigan to cr

“If You Love Something, Set It Free” Says Man Pushing Yacht Out of DuSable Harbor 

“Fuck, I’m gonna miss that boat, dude. She was good, and pure, and I had sex on it,” Gregg said, sighing heavily. “When you have a boat, you don’t even remember what it’s like not to have a boat.”

Citing High Waves, National Weather Service Says Stay Out of Lake Michigan Unless You’re Ready to Shred Some Rad Chop

“Those waves will come out of nowhere broatmeal,” continued Harris. “Absolute lameoid move to get pulled in without your board. Not chill in my opinion.”

City Grieves As Millennium Park Shifts Into Neutral, Slides Into Lake

SITE OF OLD MILLENNIUM PARK — Thousands of Chicagoans gathered together to mourn Tuesday morning as officials confirmed that Millennium Park had shifted into neutral and disappeared into Lake Michi