Lake Michigan

The Latest

Piping Plover Imani Returns to Montrose Beach to Avenge Father

“These birds’ migrations lead them from the Great Lakes to the shores of the Gulf of Mexico. Most are motivated by season or food sources, but some plovers, like Imani, just migrate for revenge.”

James Cameron Confirms That Avatar 2 is Set in Lake Michigan

"Let’s see Neytiri get blasted on hard seltzers and fly a dragon into the Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville on Navy Pier. Maybe they find some ‘unobtainium’ at the bottom of the lake, who knows!"

Out-Of-Towners Agree “That’s A Big Lake”

“Every time I see Lake Michigan,” he says, “I just think of how small I am. I am nothing. I’m a speck of dust in a universe that continues to expand.”

Couple pointing at Lake Michigan

Birders Attribute Monty the Piping Plover’s Death to Rare “Avian Swag Overload”

In the wake of Monty’s passing, many birders promise to celebrate and appreciate Chicago’s other avian living landmark, Derek the Great Blue Heron Who Fucks Hard.

Heartbreaking: Old Woman Tried To Dramatically Throw Cherished Necklace In The Lake But It Just Kind Of Bounced Off the Ice

MONTROSE HARBOR — In a disappointing coda to a would-be moment of catharsis, the cherished necklace cast into Lake Michigan by a nonagenarian is sitting placidly atop a layer of ice.

Lake Michigan Rises to Unsettling 90 Degree Angle

Chicago residents have been treated to a rare glimpse of lake dwellers as hundreds of walleye and Chinook salmon were swept up with the rising tides. “It’s like an aquarium but all the fish are kinda gross looking,” noted Kyra Evans, 7. “Living in the lake must be kind of a bummer, if everyone looks like that.”

Development Begins on Top of Frozen Lake Michigan

The new project, dubbed “The Ice District” is only the first of many new projects to take advantage of all this new “land” created by the winter. 

2020 Christkindlmarket Mugs Dumped Into Lake Michigan to Create Artificial but Festive Reef

LAKE MICHIGAN — With this year’s Christkindlmarkets canceled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, organizers have made the decision to dump the entire supply of 2020 gluhwein mugs into Lake Michigan to cr

“If You Love Something, Set It Free” Says Man Pushing Yacht Out of DuSable Harbor 

“Fuck, I’m gonna miss that boat, dude. She was good, and pure, and I had sex on it,” Gregg said, sighing heavily. “When you have a boat, you don’t even remember what it’s like not to have a boat.”

Citing High Waves, National Weather Service Says Stay Out of Lake Michigan Unless You’re Ready to Shred Some Rad Chop

“Those waves will come out of nowhere broatmeal,” continued Harris. “Absolute lameoid move to get pulled in without your board. Not chill in my opinion.”