CTA
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CTA Discontinues Loop-de-Loop Rail Course in Loop
"I loved going through the terrifying experience of being upside down in a slowly moving commuter train. It gave me the ‘pep’ I needed to get through a full day of penny trading. I guess I’ll need to go back to cocaine.”
New Apartment Somehow Four Buses Away From All Trader Joes’ In City
“My last apartment was kind of in the middle of nowhere, so I got used to finding groceries wherever I could—Walgreens, ALDI, the bags of long-grain rice my neighbor threw through my window every Tuesday—your usual neighborhood go-tos. But I thought this new place would change some things.”
Grizzled CTA Passenger Tells Legend of Express Train That Never, Ever Stops
“T’ain’t no reason to be lookin’ up at the screens, friends. At this time of night the trains become wilder, more unpredictable. They say at this time of night the express train that never, ever stops roams these tracks, not pickin’ up passengers, just leavin’ folks standing in the cold, frustrated and delayed.”
"Yes, And?” CTA Says “No” as Shameless Improvisors Perform for New HD Surveillance Cameras
It was supposed to be a boon to security across the city. After eleven months, the CTA finally finished installing high-definition cameras in subway stations all along the Red and Blue Lines.
“The Warmth was in You The Whole Time,” Tearful Heat Lamps Bid Farewell to Chicagoans Till Next Year
After a Winter of bringing a slight change to the frigid temperatures on platforms, Chicago’s CTA heat lamps bid a tearful farewell to the populace as they were turned off till next Winter, saying “We have to go now, dear friends. We just want you to remember, the warmth was in you the whole time.”
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