The Latest

Bus Driver Shortage Traced Back To Fateful Field Trip Inside Pinball Machine

Mrs. Frizkalewski, 34, a peppy science educator with a knack for being strange, has often led her class into unusual scenarios. “I’ve shrunk us into a stomach, a bakery, a zygote—you name it,” said Fritzkalewski, barely dodging an errant pinball. “And this isn’t the first time we’ve gotten stuck either. This shrink ray breaks a lot! Makes you wonder if I should be using it so much. Anyway!”

UN Solemnly Admits to Microchipping Vaccines in Order to Create the Digidestined

“We hope history will judge us kindly when the next generation of malware is decimated by a missile with teeth fired from the righteous ordnance mounted in MetalGreymon’s rippling pectoral muscles.”

Scientists Shrink Dr. Fauci Down to Microscopic Size to Combat Virus

“We would’ve loved to have literally any kind holistic national response handed down from the White House, but unfortunately without any executive leadership this is the only option available to us.’'

Study Shows Slow Walkers Typically Happier Than the Furious People Stuck Behind Them

“Much to our surprise, it seems that slowies actually have normal brains. One theory is their hearts and souls must just be fucked up."

Echelon. Domino. Wasteland. Fuschia. Congratulations, You’ve Been Activated!

First of all sorry about this! We know you probably have a lot going on what with work, relationships, and just the every day slog that is modern life.