Covid-19
The Latest
Man Setting Aside 6 Hours To Do Simple Task Today Just In Case He Spends 5 And ½ Of Them Staring Into The Middle Distance
LAKEVIEW — As the pandemic lurches into the end of its 10th month, Chicagoans are finding lots of ways to beat the cabin fever that’s proved even more formidable than the intense, below-0 winters t
Citing COVID-19 Vaccine Shortage, Second Dose Replaced With Little Kiss on Injection Site
According to new IDPH guidelines, the little kisses will be administered by medical professionals and can be “as dainty or wet as the patient requests, but no tongue.”
Couple on First Date in Dining Bubble Running Out of Things to Talk About, Air
WEST LOOP — With Winter fast approaching and the COVID-19 pandemic still growing despite efforts to ignore it, many local eateries are hoping heartier outdoor-dining structures will keep diners com
Retailers Scramble to Offer Black Friday Excitement, Opportunities to Mistreat Retail Workers Virtually
Big-box retail giants Best Buy and Walmart are leading the charge in the effort to preserve Black Friday normalcy: both stores have already begun to offer virtual deals and have expanded their customer service availability to include “the really terrible early hours of the morning,” according to Best Buy’s website.
In Last Ditch Effort, Pritzker to Trick COVID Into Thinking Illinois Uninhabited by Removing All State’s Toilets
"If it can lower property taxes, it can lower our infection rate.”
Starbucks Now Offering No Touch Nitro Coffee Spray
“Of course much of our product inspiration comes from nature,” said Starbucks lead product designer Cesar Van de Camp, 45 “And in this case I was deeply influenced by how they hose down elephants at the zoo.”
Man In Best Shape Of Life Desperate To Give It Up For Even A Whiff Of Sports
“Building a big-ass armchair with like twelve cupholders, a grill and a chamber pot. Once baseball’s back I’m never getting up or anything,” said Landis in a tweet accompanied by an animated gif of ALF playing a guitar.
On Top Of Everything Else, WiFi Being Weird
“If I can’t open Twitter and have the videos begin to play instantaneously, how am I supposed to feed my mind?”
Friend Who Just Got Laid Off Being Kind Of Annoying About It
AVONDALE—In a frustrating and confusing turn of events, a friend who was just laid off from her food industry job this past week can’t stop talking about being laid off.
Normal Amount Of Food Purchased
BUENA PARK—In stark contrast to the chaotic scene swirling all around him in Jewel Osco, reports are surfacing that area man Frank Bulliano, 42, is just buying the normal amount of groceries today.
