the 'L' train
After years of long wait times and skipped schedules, they’ve announced it’s once again hitting goals for service.
Jolly old Saint Nicholas himself has been spotted lighting up a dart on the Holiday Train.
“We’re making sure that driver safety and comfort is considered,” said Borle. “There’s windows, so we can pass them food and water. Ugh, I can tell you all are wondering about bathroom breaks. Look, I don’t want to say it. You’re going to get mad at me.”
The two, who had run into each other by chance on the platform, and engaged in a stilted conversation about the new Game of Thrones series, House of the Dragon, were seemingly unaware of the particular peril that hung over their urgent disquisition.
Some Red Line regulars like Larry Richards, 43, who has been running a Three-card Monte hustle for the past decade, were less in favor- “First legalizing weed, now this, the city just wants all small business owners like myself to go under.”
“There are elderly people and expectant mothers on this train who’d like to sit down, and many of them were crushed to death.”
CTA Finally Confirms Suspicions That Craning Your Neck to See if the Train Is Coming Makes It Go Slower
If you look twice, the train might even go backwards.
“I just need a fresh start, away from everyone and everything, in a place where no one will recognize me and I’ll never bump into anyone from my old life.“ said Sarah. “So about a 15 minute walk away.”
This year's train will not only feature a spectacular light display, but also quiet reverence for the men who have served this nation as commander in chief. The train will travel all the CTA train lines from now until the week of Christmas, which has been the theme for the last several years.
“I didn’t think the announcement ‘standing for signal clearance’ was a literal thing,” said onlooker Ricky Martin (no relation), 55. “I figured it was code for waiting for the driver to sober up or something. But nope, there it was, standing up on two beautiful gams.”