the 'L' train

The Latest

Red Line Chosen as Future Chicago Casino Site

Some Red Line regulars like Larry Richards, 43, who has been running a Three-card Monte hustle for the past decade, were less in favor- “First legalizing weed, now this, the city just wants all small business owners like myself to go under.”

Man’s Backpack Taking Up Entire Train Car

“There are elderly people and expectant mothers on this train who’d like to sit down, and many of them were crushed to death.”

Chicagoan Packs Up, Begins Entirely New Life One ‘L’ Stop Away

“I just need a fresh start, away from everyone and everything, in a place where no one will recognize me and I’ll never bump into anyone from my old life.“ said Sarah. “So about a 15 minute walk away.”

The CTA Holiday Train is Back, and This Year’s Theme is Presidents Day

This year's train will not only feature a spectacular light display, but also quiet reverence for the men who have served this nation as commander in chief. The train will travel all the CTA train lines from now until the week of Christmas, which has been the theme for the last several years.

Horrifying: The Train Is Standing for Signal Clearance

“I didn’t think the announcement ‘standing for signal clearance’ was a literal thing,” said onlooker Ricky Martin (no relation), 55. “I figured it was code for waiting for the driver to sober up or something. But nope, there it was, standing up on two beautiful gams.”

CTA Reintroduces Double Decker Trains as Ridership Returns

For his part, Buckinghamshire was confident that wouldn’t be a problem. “Subway? What, bleedin’ undergound trains? Are you daft? No, Chicago doesn’t have any o’ those. It’s L for ‘Elevated,’ innit?”  He smiled confidently as he patted the nose of the nearest railcar. “Don’t you worry, love. Not a bother.”

Time Traveler? Maskless Man Sitting Next to People on the Train Must Be From 2019

“It was like everyone knew,” said Carol, “the moment he got off everyone seemed to breathe easier. That guy was definitely on a mission to the future. Either that or he’s just some contrarian asshole who refuses to wear a mask on the train as some sort of half-assed protest daring people to say something. Unfortunately it’s impossible to tell which one is which, so I’m going to be safe and assume Terminator.”

CTA Pride Train Pledges to Run Over at Least 2 Homophobes This Month

“Here at the CTA, we’re trying not to be like every other corporation co-opting the aesthetics of pride to hawk our services. This year, we’d like to use our actions to demonstrate our values. Actions like pancaking a few guys who suck here and there. I dunno, we’re trying it out!”

Man Pushing Way Onto Packed Blue Line Train At 8:30 AM Just Wants To Get In On The Fun

“A lot of times, four or more packed trains will go by before I can get on one,” said Everson, beaming with pure glee. “The train is so popular every single day, and I feel lucky that I even have the opportunity to ride it.”