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Hard To Tell If Spot Dibbed Or Reserved For Outdoor Dining

HUMBOLDT PARK  — While trying to find a place to park in the Humboldt Park neighborhood, Cindy Bertram, 31, a nanny, briefly had to consider whether a somewhat-shoveled, chair-filled parking spot w

26th Diner Driven From Reopened Restaurant With Torches, Pitchforks

“I was just trying to get some dinner,” said Kirkman, still huffing and puffing after running from the mob for several blocks, “and the guy at the door started screaming ‘A 26th person is trying to get in! Drive away the beast, lest we all get the plague!’ I just wanted some mostaccioli diavola. I can’t make it at home, I don’t own any pots!”

Limited Indoor Dining Rules Reduce Menus To 25% Capacity

STREETERVILLE — In an effort to continue safety measures as restaurants slowly reopen to indoor dining, new limitations are reducing all menus to 25% capacity. 

Greektown Moves to New Apartment in Wrigleyville

“This was a tough decision,” said Greektown, 132. “Greektown is great, and pretty affordable as far as Chicago goes. But I’m ready for something new, and I feel like a nice new place in Wrigleyville, bustling with nightlife, offers me that.”

Bogart in Chief: Lori Lightfoot Denies All Those Loop Tightwads the Opportunity to Smoke a Spliffy-Iffy of the Stinky-Dinky With Ruling Against Downtown Pot Shops

The mayor’s office remains adamant that top-tier bud will never find a home downtown during Mayor Lightfoot’s tenure.

Remote Worker Hasn’t Realized Car Was Stolen 3 Months Ago

Jacobs admits that while he hasn’t been to an actual store in over 6 months, the utility of having a car is simply too good to give up.

Limited Indoor Dining Returns to Chicago Restaurants “You’re Only Allowed to Eat a Little Bit”

Other tier restrictions announced by the governor for Tier 1 include allowing you to go to the bar only if you have a bad time and the controversial “no kissing in the gym” rule.

Loosening Of Gym Restrictions Comes As Relief To Wicker Park Yoga Class Frozen in Warrior Two Since November

“I think the whole Warrior series is a wonderful way to get in touch with your whole body and feel grounded and powerful. But after the first few days of being locked into the pose, I was ready to move on, or at least even it out on the other side.”

With Reopening, Field Museum Warns "Sue Hasn't Fed in Months"

Upon entering the museum, visitors are asked to sign a waiver to waive the right to sue for any dinosaur-related damages up to and including being eaten in one big bite like a pelican swallowing a fish.

Neighbor Drags St. Andrew's Cross and Spanking Bench Outside for Dibs After Recent Snow

“What I didn’t expect to see was this guy dragging what appeared to be a bunch of home-made sex furniture down the gangway and putting it right there on the street. I mean, what the hell?”