Chicago
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Report Shows Asian Carp Completely Ignoring “No Asian Carp” Signs Along Illinois River
“They probably can’t read the signs” said local dullard Tim Jeffries. “I can’t believe I’m the only one saying this.”
“I Heard It’s Going to be an Early Spring,” Predicts Asshole Who Knows Nothing
“I Heard It’s Going to be an Early Spring,” Predicts Asshole Who Knows Nothing
Chicagoans Gather at Crosswalk to Receive the Holy Slush
“What the fuck!” proclaimed Markus Delante of Lower West Side as a 2009 Honda Civic piously accelerated into a pure trough of winter slop, anointing Markus in the holy gray gunk.
Cool 'L' Drivers Exchange High Fives While Passing, Lose Arms
“There was just like a real crisp fiver, then a wet snapping sound, and then like, all these screams."
