Dave Hillger, the self-appointed emperor and sole resident of Davekanda, has already issued dire warnings to any that might encroach on his nation’s soil.
“They probably can’t read the signs” said local dullard Tim Jeffries. “I can’t believe I’m the only one saying this.”
“I Heard It’s Going to be an Early Spring,” Predicts Asshole Who Knows Nothing
“What the fuck!” proclaimed Markus Delante of Lower West Side as a 2009 Honda Civic piously accelerated into a pure trough of winter slop, anointing Markus in the holy gray gunk.
“There was just like a real crisp fiver, then a wet snapping sound, and then like, all these screams."