The Meat Council, which traditionally exists to ensure everyone in Chicago knows that meat is delicious and what condiments are acceptable, can in times of crisis access the estimated thirty thousand tons of meat products held in vaults, caves and piles under the city.
Towers of empty Old Style cans loomed over the coffee table and a Great Kitchen Garbage Patch of delivery containers marred the once-beautiful views from Sealy’s MacBook camera.
The Next Hannibal Lecter? This Woman’s Heartbeat Stayed at a Cool 85 BPM While Shopping at Trader Joe’s
When asked by an employee if she needed help finding anything, Masters shook her head. “Just looking,” she replied, chillingly.
“Usually I’d sneak up and grab a bowl of chips and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc from the fridge around two, when both of them were at work, but that’s all changed.”
"Naturally, they’re going to be attracted to the neighborhood with the most garbage.”
“I got my first rat in my basket from the Easter Rat, same as a lot of kids. Done right, it’s a great thing. But families need to understand that they’re taking on an animal with a heart and soul and seventeen beautiful toes.”
RAVENSWOOD — As scientific research expeditions worldwide are cancelled and funding for exploration dries up in the failing global economy, some good news emerged for the scientific community Monda
ROGERS PARK — As Illinois’ COVID-19 shelter-in-place order enters its third week, The Chicago Genius Herald staff have heard all kinds of inspiring stories about Chicagoans helping each other get t
Skilling, who has been off the air since early March to recover from surgery, emerged from his stasis pod early Sunday and announced, “A tempest grows in the north,” before erupting in green light.
City Officials Urge Chicagoans To Social Distance “At Least Eight Polish Sausage Lengths” Between Self And Others
For those who don’t eat pork, this is equivalent to about nine Vienna all-beef hot dogs.