Chicago

The Latest

Wrigleyville "Alamo Drafthouse" Opening, "Alamo Whorehouse" Available by Special Request

WRIGLEYVILLE — We’ve been saying for a while that Wrigleyville has the potential to be the Amsterdam of the Upper Midwest.

Three Lions Born at Lincoln Park Zoo, One That Only Lies, One That Tells the Truth, One Regular Lion

“We definitely have our hands full! We’re just happy one is a regular lion,” said Morre. “At least we think it is. There’s a chance it’s also going to do something spooky and mysterious. It could just be waiting to reveal whatever its bit is when the time is right.”

Email Shows Lightfoot Campaign Promised CPS Student Volunteers Extra Credit, Seat at Cool Kids' Table, Mango Juul Pods

“No cap, fam,” started the email from the Lightfoot campaign, going on to use numerous “Gen Z” buzzwords and slang. “Volunteering for the Lightfoot campaign is bussin.’ Join the Litfoot team!“

Chicago Rings in New Year With Traditional Bean Drop

“What better opportunity to contemplate how I’ve been doing the past couple years by watching my own reflection fall to the ground and shatter into a thousand pieces.”

Southwest Airlines Tells Passengers at Midway They Might Want to Start Forming Own Society

“We understand people are upset, and we’re working hard to issue chunks of flint to all our passengers.”

Chicagoans Brace for Record-Breaking Radiator Heat Wave

“We’re looking at a real chance for a ‘shorts and tee Christmas’".

Santa Claus Blasting Cigs on the Holiday Train

Jolly old Saint Nicholas himself has been spotted lighting up a dart on the Holiday Train.

Chicagoan Not Sure if It’s Debilitating Social Anxiety, or if They Just Have to Take Two Buses to Get There

“I would rather never speak to anyone again than wait for the 82 after already going through the emotional labor of catching the 80.” 

James Cameron Confirms That Avatar 2 is Set in Lake Michigan

"Let’s see Neytiri get blasted on hard seltzers and fly a dragon into the Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville on Navy Pier. Maybe they find some ‘unobtainium’ at the bottom of the lake, who knows!"

CTA Solves Driver Shortage by Welding Drivers’ Doors Shut

“We’re making sure that driver safety and comfort is considered,” said Borle. “There’s windows, so we can pass them food and water. Ugh, I can tell you all are wondering about bathroom breaks. Look, I don’t want to say it. You’re going to get mad at me.”